Introspection

‘Life’ is one of the most unfair propositions you will ever come across. Do you believe this? No matter how miserable I am today and even considering the fact I am one of the most celebrated members of the ‘B’ group, I still believe in one thing. Life has its own idiosyncratic way of leveling things around. It is just that our myopic vision is not able to decipher the subtleties and our intellect is made to think otherwise.

Consider this;
I overheard a conversation between two people sometime back. Let’s name the first person FP and the second person SP and the subject as SB.

FP: SB is a lucky chap. God has gifted him in so many ways, he was one of the top performers in his class, he has represented his company in the TC Quiz and to top it all he is a fantastic singer.

SP: Yes, it is true; look he is too popular with all the people around. I wish I too was a dude like he is.

SB is not lucky. This is the problem with the ‘I-Phone’ generation. We all adore the glamour and the glitz but only a few realize the hard work SB might have put in practicing arithmetic tables, how boring it was for him to sit and read the Bournvita Quiz Book, while his friends were busy playing cricket. They do not realize, how parched his throats must have felt, after subjecting them to a gruesome ‘riyaaz’.

He is enjoying the moment today because he cared to make the right choices, he invested in his future, he went through all that pain, he conquered all his insecurities and he negotiated all the vicissitudes that life threw at him. You call it unfair, I call it unfair. He is better than you because he made a choice to be better than you. You call it unfair, I do not.

Take it in some other context. Say, placements. Many people strive hard for a short term, say maybe 10 months and seek to outsmart a person who has cared to be consistent all throughout his life. This may or may not happen. He may not be putting the same effort as you may do, but still his aggregate effort is more than anybody else. In the end, he wins. Is this unfair?Next in the same series comes tomorrow.

Signing off,
Simply Loser, Simply SK

Loservilla... Khadke Style

An acquaintance of mine, Mr. Saurabh Khadke, Second year student at IIM-A, has come out with what he calls 'loserisms'. Well, the name explains it all. All proverbs, anecdotes, allegories are for born winners, Khadke writes for proverbial losers (Group - B people). For more information on Group - B, Murphy's Law and Loserisms please visit the page of Loservilla at FB.

All copyrights reserved by Khadke and Company :)

Khadke's Loserisms ‎#10: "To know how deep the water is, you have to dive in...you can also throw in the guy next to you"

Khadke's Loserisms ‎#9: "Money cant buy you everything...but it sure does help in the amount of bargaining you have to do"

Khadke's Loserisms ‎#8: "When the going gets tough, you need to get going.....going somewhere it isnt that tough"

Khadke's Loserisms ‎#7: "Be selfless when helping others....but also be selfish when working for yourself"

Khadke's Loserisms ‎#6: "When you give advice do it with a spoon of sugar, and when you take it...no dont take it"

Khadke's Loserisms ‎#5: "To be SUCCESSFUL...dream big...to DREAM big...keep sleeping"

Khadke's Loserisms ‎#4: "Everything happens for the good...yes..but not for your good loser!!"

Khadke's Loserisms ‎#3: "Practice makes you perfect....well yeah...makes you a perfect clown who can't do shit"

Khadke's Loserisms ‎#2: "If you've missed twice, its better you give up. 'Third time lucky' is a myth you don't wanna trust"

Khadke's Loserisms ‎#1 : "Having the experience of losing is better than having no experience at all.......NOT!!!"

Here I am

A story, I had written long back. This whole blogging thing makes me think, I am moving from self awareness to self promotion. Still, it's fun.. isn't it.

There was once a boy named Dhanu Ram. He was just like another boy you would find on the streets. He would pass off as just another 20 year old, with normal hopes, dreams and aspirations. He was not great in academics, just good enough to come within the top ten of the class. In sports, like all other 30 million youngsters, he was fond of cricket and for him sports was synonymous with cricket. He managed decently in cricket and was famous as a “TEST WALA PLAYER” in his neighborhood. In subtler domain, he was a dud and not a dude. Arts, music and all that girlie stuff did not appeal to him. The last time he sung in public was in front of his seniors during ragging in First year. The figures he drew in Moral Science and Biology classes were just laughter medicine for the evaluator, nothing else. Ask him to draw a horse and I can bet he will manage no better than a donkey, or even worse than that, it will appear as the Minotaur. The last time we saw the guitar gifted to him by his Grandpa’, was in the attic, with all wires protruding out as the hairs of a marauding octogenarian. But one day, everything changed. Dhanu Ram became “DR” and he became the cynosure of all among his friends.

Wanna guess what happened. He got himself a girlfriend. Don’t ask me how, that is an another story, that I will narrate some other day. All in a day, he moved from the ranks of “TOM, DICK and HARRY” to a wiser, ostensibly more attractive and gifted lot of humans. After all he had a GF. He did what the topper of the college could not. He was on the top of the world, but was unaware of the impending dangers that would be unleashed on him very soon.

His transformation from a good for nothing sybarite to a bonded slave was immediate. All time hooked on a call (made by a RIM phone..of course). Whatever little time he devoted to studies was gone, and cricket was left long ago. All the time, he was found at a food joint, feeding a hungry lady, whose hunger for jewelry, paraphernalia and most importantly food couldn’t be satiated. His monthly expenditure rose exponentially from 1500 to 5500 and this made his mother anxious. Poor lady, she started that to believe that her very own Dhanu has started taking drugs. Only a surprise visit to Dhanu’s college could assuage her fears. After all, Dhanu who scored a nine every time had a six grade this time. Mother was made to believe it was hard luck nothing else. A swish of good luck moved his GF out of the city to Jaipur and then things began to ease out a little. Now again DR was in the nines and made a good name for him in a industrial project. Things improved a little more, and one day finally he was rid of the curse.

How it happened is what you will read below.

Dhanu had a close friend, Montu, who was a mutual friend of “Madam” also. He was working with the sales department of a company and happened to visit Jaipur. Montu was asked to meet “Madam” at Dhanu’s behest in Jaipur. Montu called up “Madam” and informed her that he was in her city for a few days. A friend of hers heard the conversation on the phone and after she finished, asked him who this new boy was. On hearing, that the boy on the phone was somebody related to DR, she had the devil inside her aroused. She asked “Madam” to test her love and her lover, and how much he loved him. God!!! When will these women learn that love cannot be quantified? It happened so, that “Madam” appeared a lot friendly with Montu and took him all around the city and also had a decent lunch with him. To top it all, they even watched a movie together. For all you lesser mortals, who cannot decipher what “Madam” was up to, let me explain.

She went out, or took out Montu and was kind to him only to get this across to Dhanu. She wanted to know the reaction of Dhanu, when he learned what happened behind his back. She wanted Montu to tell him exactly what were the dynamics between his GF and his BEST FRIEND, and Montu as a good friend of DR did not disappoint. The story now moves in conversation mode.

Montu:- Are yaar, teri GF to bahut chipak rahi thi yaar, mere se.

DR:- Kyun kya hua?

Montu: -She went out with me, took me around the whole of the Pink city, we had a lunch and also a movie the next day, which of course, I paid for.

DR:- Abe thik hai, use bola tha kit u aane wala hain, To tere saath chali gayi hogi to isme bada baat kya hain.

Montu:- Phir bhi yaar tu dekh le yaar.. kuch to gadbad hain.

DR:- Haan be.. thik hai. Tu tension na le.

That same evening, Madam called DR.

DR:- Kaisi ho.

Madam:- Bahut badhiya, pata kal Montu chala gaya. I went to see him off, and you know, we had a great time together. We went for a movie and it was great fun. These 2 days were quite fun. Wat about urs?

Ab yeh bechara kya bole, Kya pooche – tu kyun gayi thi Montu ke saath, agar yeh poocha to phir badi baat ho jayegi, female independence and male chauvinism pe jaad pad jayegi. Isi liye DR ne lagaya buddhi. Aur bol yeh…

DR:- Accha hai, uska bhi man lag gaya hoga. Thanks for it. Mere dost ka khayal rakhane ke liye.

Madam:- Haan, woh to mera bhi dost hain.

Madam ko yeh baat pacchi nahi, ki Dhanu ne unko is baat ke liye kuch bhi nahi bola. Har roz phone karti aur sochti ki aaj DR kahega : - “Kyun kiya tumne aisa, Mere pyar mein koi kami rah gayi thi, jo uske saath chali gayi. Mujhe ek baar bol diya hota, to main daud daud kar aata, tujhe khana khilata, picture dikhata.” Aur baad mein ye bhi kehta” I love you very much janeman.”

Madam wanted again a servile acquiescence from DR, she wanted him to once again profess his love for her. Even though he had done it 199999 times already, she still wanted more. She wanted to make him feel him long for her, but I don’t think DR took it that way. And this didn’t happen.

Finally when madam couldn’t take it anymore, she called him up .. which was the last time, how we will learn later.

Madam:- What stupid, silly fool you are? Your GF goes out with somebody and there is no response from you. Just a nonchalant “Yes”. This is what I and my love deserve from you. You had no feelings and emotion that a lover has for his sweetheart, how could you behave like this. Where has all your sensitivities gone. At least you could have me something, but it seems you are just dead. You were never like this, Dhanu.

Dhanu beta to kuch samajh hi nahi aaya, kya kahen. Unke mind mein yeh sab ban rahe the - !@#@#$@#$$$$@#$!$%@#%%%^^^Q@!$%#%%%.

Man hi man soch raha tha, duniya mein koi acchai nahi rahi. Saala, accha karo to yeh milta hain. Bata deti gali hin dena tha, iske pure khandan ko acchi acchi gali deta. Ab kya karun…

DR:- Are main to yehi chahta tha ki tum enjoy karo. Waise tum bacchi to ho nahi ki tum kis se ke saath ja rahi ho who dekhna pade. Isi liye kuch nahi bola.

Madam:- Shut up, don’t give lame excuses.

DR: Nahi yaar, I trust you and thus I didn’t think I should say something. Also Montu bhi mera accha dost hain.

Madam:- Montu gaya bhad mein.

Kahe ka montu gaya bhad mein, saare maje to usi ne liye. Bechara Dhanu.

Madam:- Tell me something, it means that you also go out with other girls and you do not tell me, as you are not a baccha any more. Isn’t it true, Dhanu.

Dhanu:- Ahhh hhh.. emmm.. emmm .. Main tumhe kaise …

Call ended. Relationship ended. Madam put up the phone and moved one. Dhanu wahin reh gaya.

Yahi thi … baki DHANU aaj kahan hai aur kya kar rahe hai.. yeh nahi bata sakta kyunki woh phir hansi ke patra ban jayenge. But itna hain jab se is bhootni ka saaya unse hata who tarriki ke rah par chal diye. Padne lage aur bahut kuch aage haasil kiya.

I Day at Planet - I

It is an eerie thing to notice.. the number of 'I's in my life has been increasing lately. It is "I' who is currently whiling away his time at a place that starts with a 'I', in a city with an 'I' and then all the social institutions here have an 'I'. You have to be at this place to know what 'I' am talking about. It is August 15th, and here comes another 'I'. May be 'I' will land up with a girlfriend whose name starts with an 'I'. :) You never know.
At the 64th independence day, even 'I' would like to give some gyan to the whole world. The idea comes from a tweetsation 'I' was having with a celebrity on Twitter. The preamble says 'I' aspires to be a sovereign, socialist, secular, democratic republic. It has been quite some time and is the 'I' we know today - sovereign, socialist, secular (WTF), democratic (WTFFFFF)? The idea of 'I' is dying today. The very strength of being a pluralistic society has been eating at our identity. 'I' is more conscious of what divides it: religion, region, caste, language, ethnicity. All these identities have been used for political maneuvering and what's the result? Today it is more important for 'I' to be a Hindu, a Marathi, a Gujjar, a Yadav and all other fancy names you can find. What about 'I' being an Indian. Have we ever thought about it.

It is sad, that though India was created 63 years go, 'Indians' have not been created till date.

Blogosophy

So I am back to the blogging world, after a brief hiatus. This time again, I made a lot many resolutions. The last day of every examination season has me taking some resolutions. If only I had been so steadfast in following those very resolutions. :( Now it was .. the mids at IIM-Indore. This time again, I have underperformed.. I usually do. So, a future at the *Bottom of the Pyramid (BOP Rankers - coined by Vikrant Singh, IIM Indore, Section - B) was one of the things that led me to believe that I have no future in academics any further, not that I had till now. A little introspection made me realize, that I should quit fighting for grades, and look at the bigger picture.
So I decided to blog. (God save this earth and the blogging community in particular) I have taken a resolution to write and blog everyday. I can see many laughing.. please don't. Talking about blogging, let's try and find out why people post weblogs. Here are the top ten reasons:

Reason #1: They are utterly bored with their lives, families and most importantly themselves. They have nothing worthwhile to do, so they vent their anger at the poor keyboard.
Reason #2: When they speak, nobody listens, so they blog :)
Reason #3: They have a painful love story, maybe some tough breakup, which nobody cares to listen, but they are eager to share with every other Tom, Dick and Harry
Reason #4: They are idiotic budding writers, whose stories nobody wants to read
Reason #5: They are male/female chauvinists, but cannot declare in the open for the fear of rebuke. Make a virtual profile, and rip off the opposite sex, it is easy.. isn't it.
Reason #6: They want to mention it in their summer internship CVs. Guess what my areas of interest says!!#@#@$!!!
Reason #7: They want to impress girls
Reason #8: May be you are Amitabh Bachchan and you want to tell people that you sleep with a gun, and kill Kasab in your dreams. (WTF)
Reason #9: They do not like Barack Obama, and they want to give vent to their feelings
Reason #10: They are homosexuals, in search of partners. You never know, when you may get lucky. :)

Signing Off
Simply Loser, Simply SK